it was like his penis was on wheels.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
