i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had sex on a roof
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
