I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Let's get the cat blown out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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