I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
