how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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