wat bout pragnant strippers??
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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