a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
More tranny stories later!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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