where does the pee come out of this thing
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
