She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
