When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
