Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
