You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
