i permit you to call me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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