i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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