Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
