Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
