Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
