he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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