oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
