Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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