i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
