Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize