I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
