This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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