Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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