I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
is that a dick in a sweater?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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