I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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