so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
