Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
