oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
