I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
