this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize