Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
