When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
