So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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