Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
