It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
