I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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