i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
