youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
