Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
