did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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