You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
