she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
