i don't plan on having that self control this summer
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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