i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
