Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
