My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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