You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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