It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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