Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
