I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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