I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He passed out mid-signature
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
