He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
