Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
and you fell through a lawn chair
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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