gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
