I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize