If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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