Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So much rum. So many feels.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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