I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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