They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
