just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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